Postscript 2022-05-22

 A photo of the Watchtower, pre-launch, came up in my Facebook feed today, flooding me with feels and memories.  I posted the photo on Facebook 15 years ago.  Mike fell asleep 6 years and 7 months and 3 weeks past. There was no warning and thus no goodbyes.  And I lost my mind for a while although I kept going through life’s motions. That saying, “life goes on” is no joke. One’s body demands rest and sustenance even when the mind has vacated the premises, so to speak.  The routines of work and responsibilities did not disappear despite my inner despair and confusion that I was living in a world without Mike in it. So I did what so many of us do: I just kept doing the next task in front of me. The routines and responsibilities kept me engaged in the work I loved and the people I loved .  And Mike WAS there, all along, I discovered.  “We” still exist. (Note: I am not entirely sure I have yet found my mind. But I’m more at peace with living this amputated life; he asleep and I awake to this world.( Or is it more accurate to say  that he is awake and I asleep?  Who can say?)

We briefly considered burying him in the boat but of course that wasn’t possible. So instead, we brought his paddle to his wake and leaned it up against his coffin. 

The Watchtower remains safely stowed away. It requires two people to properly navigate the waters. I cannot do it alone and so the Watchtower sleeps, as well. When I dwell on it, it hurts beyond belief that I will never  again sit in that boat, watching mike’s strong shoulders as we paddle in perfect rhythm through the water, thrilling to the sky and water surrounding us. ...  . Oh how I miss him. But oh how grateful I will eternally be for our shared life and the adventures we had!💙 And I am just crazy enough to believe that our shared adventures are not over yet😉